Have you ever had to redesign your life?
I’m sure you have because with every change, transition or new beginning, there is always a slight redesign to become more aligned with your new you or new path.
This is the very raw and real story of my latest life redesign and why it’s important for you.
Today is the 3rd year anniversary of my Mom’s death. My Mom was one of my best friends and taught me about unconditional love, the importance of family, friendship, values and being your own kind of beautiful; from the inside out. She also taught me about inner strength, resilience and being true to who you are.
It was Friday, October 30, 2015. I’d gone into New York City to visit my Mom and take her to an appointment for a “routine” test. I remember sitting in the waiting room with her just talking about everything as we always did.
We talked about when I thought my oldest and his girlfriend would be getting married, about my youngest and his big heart to help others, about the launch of my new online coaching business and all the other plans we had coming up in the next few months.
My Mom was called in for the test which would take about 15 minutes. I offered to go with her, but she said she’d be fine and to hold her stuff. That was the last time I saw her alive. Here with me and then not. I was alone and in shock.
The next few hours were a blur.
My brother and oldest son coming to meet me, the EMT’s and Doctors working on my Mom, the rush to the ER and the whirlwind of energy as people tried to save her. My husband flying home from a business trip. My praying, crying and holding her hand at the end. The Doctor making the “call” that she was gone and me literally falling into my son’s arms.
I remember thinking that I didn’t know what to do without her. She was one of my best friends and the foundation of our family. I remember wondering if I could get back up again and how to hold it together for the kids. I hadn’t even told my youngest what had happened yet. He was at college in Boston. Everything literally happened in 2 hours. I remember feeling like I left my body and was watching a bad episode of Grey’s Anatomy.
In that moment, I lost my Mom, myself, and the life I had planned for our family for the next few years.
There were 350 people at the funeral. I stood in the front and began to talk about my Mom who was loved by every one of them. My heart was racing, my face was puffy, my hair was in my eyes and my voice was quivering.
I felt my husband by my side and God holding me together. Then I heard my Mom say, “move the hair out of your eyes, so people can see your pretty face and no matter what, you get back up.”
And so, one of the toughest journeys of rising and redesigning my life began. A life without my Mom.
I’ve been a Life Design Strategist & Coach for over 12 years. I’m an expert at rising, redirecting, realigning and redesigning my own life and helping other women do the same.
I’ve been through serious life challenges, transitions, new seasons, redirections, redesigns and internal shifts. I’ve always considered myself a strong and resilient woman who was fueled by my faith in God.
I have processes, tools, strategies and techniques that have worked countless times before, but not this time.
I was completely unprepared for this big-life change because it came out of nowhere. There was no warning, no evidence that it was going to happen, no time to process or say goodbye.
This loss rocked the very foundation of who I was and the life that I expected to have.
My family life, my business life, my personal life, my faith, my sense of safety and security. Everything was shaken. Things that were important became unimportant; and things that were unimportant became important.
I was barely surviving and knew I couldn’t do this alone, so I sought help. I went to therapy and worked through my Complicated Grief and PTSD. I worked with a Mindset Coach and Business Coaches and I had incredible support from family, friends and my pup, Hudson.
Then there was my relationship with God. Even though I struggled with my faith and why all of this happened; I always talked to Him. I always stayed connected to my faith because without it, I wouldn’t have been able to get back up.
I know deep in my soul that my calling is to share the stories of redesigning my life to give others hope, encouragement and strategies to do the same.
So, I made the intentional choice to get back up, redefine myself and start to redesign my life.
Here are some of the small, brave actions that I took to start the journey of redesigning my life. I’m hoping they will inspire you to take your own.
- I chose to be honest about how I felt and what I was experiencing; even though the voices in my head told me I should be strong enough to not cry.
- I chose to do one joyful thing each day which usually involved Hudson, my dog or watching Golden Retriever puppy videos; even though I felt like a fraud and guilty for laughing at all.
- I chose to take one action each day towards creating my new life, even though I was afraid that I didn’t have what it took anymore to get back up.
- I chose to keep a gratitude list with all the blessings I received, the relationships that I gained and the opportunities that I was given since that day; even though none of them made the loss of my Mom ok.
- I chose to realign with my new dreams; even though I really wanted my old ones to happen.
- I chose to focus on how I could move one step forward everyday.
I’m choosing to be vulnerable and transparent about how I began to redesign my life because I have such a heart to help you.
I know that I’m not the only woman who has found herself in a place where she’s had to make the choice to rise back up, redefine and redesign.
Maybe it’s because of a trauma or tragedy like mine. Maybe it’s because your life no longer works. Maybe it’s because you’ve entered a new season or the next phase of life. Maybe it’s because you feel called to change directions, start something new or need to let go of something.
The reasons don’t matter. What matters is that it takes courage, faith and intention to do it.
I know that real life is complicated, messy and painful at times. Yet, we can all rise, get back up and redesign; one small step at a time. Sometimes we just need some extra help, support and encouragement to do it.
I want to give you hope that you can do it; no matter what your circumstances are.
Some final thoughts….
Remember, that our journey is about continually realigning, redefining and redesigning as we move through the changes in our lives. Some of them only require minor tweaks while others require a massive overhaul.
But no matter what your circumstances are, you can start the process to redesign your life with a daily choice and action to move you forward.
My challenge to you is to start your life redesign with just one small step. Choose just one brave action you can take today, even though you’re afraid and your limiting beliefs are trying to stop you.
Think about the ONE, easiest, most meaningful and most impactful action you can take and start with that.
What about you? Do you spend as much time caring for your mind as you do for your body? What are your favorite things to put in your mind?
If you’re feeling up to it, I’d love to hear from YOU.
Are you in a season where you feel called to redesign your life? Do you have an idea of one action you can take to start?
Leave a comment below and share what’s on your mind.
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