Have you ever lost sight of who you are and needed to find your true self again?

I know I have and so have most other women I know.

Everyone goes through periods of disconnection from themselves, their dreams, their purpose and their true heart’s desires at some point in their life.

Maybe it’s because your lives are so busy with kids, work, responsibilities, and commitments that you forget to put yourselves on the list.

Maybe it’s because you got caught up in your roles and the person, you thought you should be; and you forgot who you really are.

Maybe it’s because life steered you in a direction that you didn’t intend to go, and you lost yourself in the process.

Maybe it’s because you’re in the aftermath of a transition, big life challenge or defining moment and you are not the same woman as you were before.

Regardless of the “why,” when you look in the mirror, you barely recognize the woman staring back at you. And you know it’s time to find your true self again.

So how do you find your true self when you feel lost?

Start by showing yourself some compassion and understanding.

There is nothing wrong with you. You did not lose yourself or your way on purpose.

Different seasons, transitions, circumstances and stages of life require different priorities. Sometimes we put things on hold or make choices to adapt to what is most important at the time. Then when that phase, season or situation is over, we realize that we’ve forgotten who we truly are.

Whether you’ve lost yourself in your family, in your work, in your circumstances or in your thoughts; you can find yourself again.

Try some of these ideas to help you find your true self and live authentically again.

You can’t change the past, but you can make different choices and take different actions to create a better future.

Evaluate Your Life.

A great first step towards finding your true self is to make a list of all the defining moments of your life up to this point. List any achievements, regrets, and momentous events, including the positive and the negative. Write down everything that comes to your mind.

Highlight or circle the moments, events or experiences that brought you the most joy. Write down what felt good about those times. What you were doing, how did you feel and how did those experiences change you. Ask yourself if there’s something about those past positives that you’d like to add into your life now?

When you come across a negative experience, think about what you learned from the experience and what you might need to change in your life to prevent this from happening again.

After that first journal exercise, continue to write in your journal. Write down your feelings, hopes, dreams and daily or weekly events. Journaling is a great tool for increasing your self-awareness and self-acceptance about who you really are.

Remember what matters most.

Most of us live busy and messy lives. There’s usually so much going on that we tend to live on autopilot and easily lose sight of what is most valuable and meaningful to us.

When we are lost, we are usually living out of alignment with what matters most. To get back into alignment with yourself, take some time and reflect on what is most important to you. Think about your values, dreams, desires and visions for your life

Ask yourself these questions to get started.

What did you want before you got lost in the busyness, challenges and responsibilities of your life?

If you could be whoever you wanted, what would you be?

What would you like to achieve? What would you like to do?

What exactly is your soul aching for?

What do you need to feel a sense of purpose?

What motivates you in the depths of your soul?

What does success or happiness mean to you?

What would thriving in life look like to you?

What would happen in your ideal day?

Identify what’s important to you and figure out how to weave it into your day; starting now.

Quiet your mind and listen for direction.

Be more present and start paying attention to the details of your life. They will reveal clues about who you really are and what’s next for you. Notice the signs on the road, songs on the radio, thoughts that come up in prayer, an observation from a friend, a message from a podcast or an idea that comes in the shower.

Divine guidance is always around to help you move forward on your path if you are open to receiving it. The problem is that with all your mind chatter and busy-ness, it can be difficult to recognize the signs and messages that are available to guide you.

So, it’s important to quiet your mind, ask for guidance, listen and notice what answers you receive. You’ll will always be given some sense of direction.

Do more of what you love!

When was the last time you had fun and things felt good, aligned and full of purpose?  It was likely because you were doing something you were passionate about; something that lit you up and made you feel excited.

Yet it’s so easy to forget what we love to do because we’re burdened by responsibilities, routines and life challenges. That’s why it’s important to reconnect with what you love and your passions and take action to make them a part of your routine and life.

Make a list of your top 3 passions and commit to taking one small step towards bringing them into your life this week. No more excuses about not having the time, money, resources, babysitter etc.

Make a commitment to do what you love and watch your life change before your very eyes. Find the time to do whatever makes you excited. Embracing things that make you happy is a major stepping- stone to finding your true self again.

Be adventurous and try something new.

Get out of your comfort zone. It’s time to get uncomfortable by trying new things and meeting new people. Challenge yourself to try one new and uncomfortable thing each week; or if you’re adventurous, one new thing each day.  Stretch yourself just enough to grow and evolve.

Trying new and different things helps you redefine yourself and reinvigorate your interests. It does not have to be a big event. It can be as simple as visiting a place you’ve never been, getting a completely different haircut, taking a class for a hobby you’ve always wanted to try or striking up a conversation with someone you’ve never met before.

Trying new things can show us possibilities for ourselves and our lives that we never imagined before. These new activities can move us forward into our true selves today instead of going back into who we used to be yesterday.

Think of this as an experiment to give you clarity on which path to take next.

Reset your mindset.

We all have beliefs that we’ve embraced over the years that no longer fit or serve us.

For example, having the belief that you don’t have what it takes to live true to yourself and create a thriving life, or believing that you are not worthy of living your dreams are examples of some beliefs that you need to change.

Your state of mind is powerful when it comes to your overall happiness and wellbeing. You may feel lost because you are still holding onto certain beliefs that are blocking you and holding you back.

These beliefs and feelings dictate how you perceive yourself and your life circumstances. If your perceived reality is negative, limiting and focused on what isn’t working; its time reset your mindset.

Whether you start saying mantras, using affirmations, journaling or working with a coach or therapist, updating your mindset is an important part of creating a permanent change and escaping the feeling of being lost.

Final Thoughts.

Even though it’s uncomfortable and sometimes painful, losing yourself doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You can decide to view it as an opportunity to re-evaluate who you want to be and what is important to you.

It can be an exciting journey with new possibilities for your life that give you a chance to start down a new path, redesign your life and create whatever you want.

I’d suggest picking one or two of the steps above, making them part of your regular routine and noticing what happens. They’ll help to remind you to stay true to yourself as you move into your most authentic life.

Everything is going to be okay. Take a deep breath. Take one small step towards your true self and move forward. You’ve got this.


If you’re feeling up to it, I’d love to hear from YOU.

What is your favorite way to reconnect with your truest self when you feel lost?

Please share your something that’s worked for you in the comments below.

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