How To Find Gratitude In The Hard Times

We all know that having an attitude of gratitude makes us happier and more fulfilled. But how do you find gratitude in the hard times?

Let’s be real. It’s easy to find gratitude and see your blessings when things are working out. A loving marriage. A meaningful job. Kids who are healthy and happy. Being strong and fit. Liking who you are. Having a joyful and purposeful life.

But what about when your life is messy, painful, hard and filled with big challenges?

Those challenges may be within ourselves such as struggles with self-doubt, confusion, fear, overwhelm or self-sabotaging patterns that we can’t seem to stop.  Or, they may be in our world such as: health issues, financial struggles, a failed relationship, a dream that didn’t work out, family problems or a death, tragedy or trauma.

Finding gratitude then is much more difficult.

It’s in those “really-hard” times that it’s so easy to lose sight of the blessings that do exist in yourself and your life.

Yet, gratitude can be one of the most powerful and healing forces to change your life. I’ve experienced this personally many times and here’s what I’ve discovered.

We all know that having attitude of gratitude makes us happier and more fulfilled. But how do you find gratitude in the hard times?

Let’s be real. It’s easy to be find gratitude and see your blessings when things are working out. A loving marriage. A meaningful job. Kids who are healthy and happy. Being strong and fit. Liking who you are. Having a joyful and purposeful life.

But what about when your life is messy, painful, hard and filled with big challenges?

Those challenges may be within ourselves such as struggles with self-doubt, confusion, fear, overwhelm or self-sabotaging patterns that we can’t seem to stop.  Or, they may be in our world such as: health issues, financial struggles, a failed relationship, a dream that didn’t work out, family problems or a death, tragedy or trauma.

Finding gratitude then is much more difficult.

It’s in those “really-hard” times that it’s so easy to lose sight of the blessings that do exist in yourself and your life.

Yet, gratitude can be one of the most powerful and healing forces to change your life. I’ve experienced this personally many times and here’s what I’ve discovered.

Living in gratitude always changes your life for the better.

Having said that, gratitude does not mean living in denial of the tough challenges that you are going through. It doesn’t mean you minimize your feelings, ignore your problems or don’t change what you can to make things better.

Gratitude isn’t a blind optimistic approach in which the bad things of life are trivialized or ignored.  It’s more about choosing where to put your focus and intention.

I’ve learned that what we focus on grows. When we turn our attention towards what is good, positive and working in our lives (no matter how small); we experience more of that. And when we experience more of that, we make choices and take actions from that place of solution and positivity; giving us a feeling of well-being and hope.

What I am saying is that you can be going through hard and painful times and you can also be grateful for what you have. It does not have to be an either-or situation.

You Can Find Gratitude, Even When You Can’t See Anything Good

There are so many life experiences that we go through that are painful, disappointing, challenging and even debilitating.  Yet, even in the most difficult times, there is always something to be grateful for!

We just need to look for it.

I remember after the unexpected death of my Mom three years ago; my world was torn apart. I lost my Mom. I lost my best friend. I lost myself. I lost my plans for my family. I lost my way. I lost my childhood home. And the list went on and on. All I saw was loss and all I felt was pain.

Until one day, as I was praying in the depths of my grief, I was reminded that gratitude was a choice.

I was reminded that I still had many blessings, even with my Mom gone. I was reminded to look at myself, my husband, my kids, my friends and my life to know in my heart that was true.

I was reminded that I could find gratitude again, if I was willing to choose it: and that’s what I did.

I decided to start a running gratitude list on my phone. I literally “forced” myself every day to add something new to it.

Sometimes it was as simple as being grateful for the parking space in front of the store in the rain. Sometimes it was as powerful as the way my husband and grown sons rallied around me and made me laugh when all I wanted to do was cry. Often, it had to do with my 90lb “black” golden retriever Hudson, who stayed by my side in my deepest moments of grief and brought me indescribable comfort.

The more I noticed and added to the list, the better I felt. Once my focus began to shift, I was able to experience gratitude and joy in the middle of my grief.  I felt moments of joy, hope and a deep knowing that I’d get to the other side and thrive again.

This was not a new experience for me. I’d been keeping gratitude lists and focusing on the solutions and blessings in my life for as long as I can remember.  I just didn’t think of doing it after my Mom was gone.

Gratitude was one of the tools God used to heal me and empower me to design a new life.

So, what about you? Are you in one of those “really-hard” times, struggling to feel grateful and notice the blessings in your own life? I totally get it.

That’s why I’m sharing my Gratitude Finding process below. It’s something I use regularly and share with my clients. It’s simple, but it works, if you are open your mind to it.

7 Steps To Help You Find Gratitude In Your Life

1. Take time each morning to quiet your mind and breathe in the day: I suggest finding a place where you won’t be interrupted to meditate, pray or journal to clear any thoughts that may block this process.

 

2. Once you are in a relaxed, peaceful and open state of mind, ask for Divine guidance before you start to write. I usually as God to open my eyes, my heart and my soul so I can notice and receive all the blessings that are in my life. I wait to see what thoughts flood my mind

 

3. Start by writing at least 3 things that you are truly grateful for at that moment in time. Be specific. Do not judge or edit what comes up for you. When times are “really-hard”, your gratitude’s may seem silly or may be things you’ve taken for granted. Some of mine have been being grateful that I have heat in my house, being grateful that the dog peed quickly in the freezing weather, being grateful that my clothes still fit when I felt fat. You get the idea.

 

4. Once you write your 3, read them out loud so you can feel their truth in your heart. There is power in saying things out loud. I discovered that through prayer. When we think a thought in our minds that’s the beginning. The next step is to write it and put it on paper. The last step is to say it out loud. It makes it more real.

 

5. Set your intention for the day. Commit to yourself and your Higher Power that your intention for the day will be to notice what is good, positive and working in yourself and your life. Decide that you are going to look for and find gratitude, and you will.

 

6. Take positivity pauses throughout the day. When you have a few minutes, you can say affirmations, listen to a podcast, remember your gratitude’s or do whatever helps you focus on the good in your life.

 

7. Notice and document whatever blessings come your way once you choose to find gratitude. This step is key because it will give you something to refer to on those days that are so bad that you can barely find your 3 gratitude’s. Keeping a record of your blessings is a gift you can give yourself.

When You Find Gratitude, It Will Change Your Life

Gratitude is a powerful experience that will change your life for the better. It will shift your focus towards the blessings that you do have rather than focusing on what you don’t have. As a result, you’ll feel happier and have a greater sense of peace, joy and hope in your life.

However, it may still be very difficult to find gratitude in your current circumstances and that’s ok.

Don’t beat yourself up if you’re not feeling it. Don’t beat yourself up if you’re struggling to find even 3 little things to be grateful for. Don’t beat yourself up if you don’t even want to be grateful.

Have compassion for where you are now and start small. Trust the process of creating and gratitude list with just one thing a day, if 3 are too many. I promise that if you try this for at least a week, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

YOUR TURN……….

The bottom line is that life’s challenges and struggles are not easy to find gratitude for, but they can become a path for you to grow and experience blessings through the journey.

Finding gratitude will not fix your problems overnight, but it will get you started and give you hope that you can get through the hard times and rise to thrive on the other side.

Before you go, take a moment to think of one small thing that you are truly grateful for today.

I’d love to hear from you. Please leave a reply below.

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Remember, you were made to thrive,

Eleni

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