When was the last time you stopped to ask yourself, “What do I really want? What are my true heart’s desires?” and then paused long enough to listen for the answer?
Bringing your heart’s desires to life is such an empowering and meaningful journey. It’s so exciting to be able to take an idea or vision and make it happen. It feeds your soul, fulfills your purpose and reminds you that you can create the life you long to have.
It doesn’t matter if your heart’s desire is to hike every day with your dogs, volunteer for a cause that you believe in, or become financially successful in your own business. What matters is that your desires are aligned with your values, your passions, your truth, and what you feel called to do. That’s when you will thrive.
Yet, it’s so easy to lose sight of what we truly desire. We get stuck or blocked. We allow confusion to cloud our truth. We make everyone and everything else a priority and don’t give ourselves permission to explore.
Then we wonder why we feel disconnected from ourselves, lost and out of alignment. Been there and done that!
Here are five ways to help you discover your true heart’s desires, so you begin to bring them to life.
# 1: Discover your true heart’s desire by getting clear on what makes you thrive.
Ask yourself whether your desires, dreams and goals are “should” goals or “soul & passion” True heart’s desires are passionate. They feed your soul, align with your values and support you in becoming your best self. They enable you to thrive.
There is no sense of obligation or “should” surrounding our true heart’s desires. There is just a deep and powerful longing to do, be or have something that won’t go away; and the thought of living it, creating it or accomplishing it brings joy to your soul.
Here’s an example of what I mean. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a heart to empower women to recognize their own worth, embrace their uniqueness and use their God-given gifts to enrich their lives and bless others. It’s part of my Soul-DNA to encourage, inspire and teach other women how to embrace who they truly are, thrive from the inside and design their lives.
This desire has been present in one way or another in my life since I was 12. It’s my happy place and it doesn’t matter if I’m doing it for free or as a business; it’s one of the things that makes me thrive.
What about you? What are some of the things that bring your soul joy? What do you want to be, do or have that brings tears to your eyes when you think about achieving it? Start there and see what comes up for you.
# 2: Discover your true heart’s desires by checking in with your motives.
It’s easy to think that everything we want is our own idea, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes we get caught up in other’s visions for us or put our desires on hold because it’s the “right” thing to do for everyone else.
Ask yourself the following questions to check your reasons for wanting what you want:
- Have I been sacrificing my dreams or putting them on hold because other things seem more important?
- Am I actively moving towards my desires or dreams regardless of other’s opinions?
- Am I willing to create space and time to pursue my desires and dreams while handling my other responsibilities?
If the “why” behind your dream is based on the desire to make others happy or keep the peace, it will only lead to frustration and resentment.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s ok to have responsibility and commitment goals that you need or want to fulfill. Just understand that those may not be your true heart’s desires.
This does not have to be an either-or situation. “Being true to you” doesn’t mean you drop your responsibilities or fail to meet your commitments. It means you learn how to do both.
Even when I chose to be a SAHM, I always created time and space to empower, encourage and support other women. Whether I was leading spirituality workshops in my home, brainstorming with friends to help them start businesses or making message jewelry to sell at craft shows; I was committed to living one of my true heart’s desires however I could.
# 3: Discover your true heart’s desire by evaluating what is authentic and meaningful for you?
We’re constantly questioning our desires, dreams and goals to assess whether we should pursue them. It’s easy to get caught up in wondering if your goal is “spiritual enough” or “good enough” or “important enough” to devote your time to making it happen.
This is where many of us get stuck and even stop before we get started. We’re so critical of our desires that we talk ourselves out them to wait for a “better” time.
However, it doesn’t matter if your dream is to breed Golden Retriever puppies, lose 10 pounds, or start a non-profit. What matters is that your desires are true for you, honest, and of service. That makes them worthy.
You can determine whether your dream is worth your time, love, and attention by answering these questions.
- Is fulfilling your desire or dream always in the background of your mind?
- Will fulfilling your desire align with who you want to be and how you want to live?
- Will realizing this desire push you to discover your true potential?
- When you imagine yourself with this desire realized and achieved, does your heart jump for joy?
- Is your desire or dream rooted in faith, rather than fear?
If the answer is yes, it is likely a dream worth pursuing.
# 4: Discover your true heart’s desire by focusing on the present.
Our dreams and desires are continually shifting and evolving. A dream for one season of your life may shift when you enter another season of your life.
While it’s great to have a vision for your future, what we do and how we live today gets us there.
Sometimes the desire or dream you’ve always had no longer aligns with who you are now or your purpose in the present.
Here’s a simple example. When I had my kids, my heart’s desire was to be a full-time Mom, with a part-time business. My kids were my primary focus and I plugged my business activities in around their schedules. Growing my business was not as important to me as growing my sons into the men God created them to be.
Fast forward to today. My sons are now 23 and 29 and my dream has evolved. Now my heart’s desire is to create a location free business that enables me to travel with my husband, work around my schedule and serve as many women as possible.
It’s the same dream of having a business, but it looks different now than when my kids were younger.
Answer these questions to help you determine if your desires and dreams are really what you want for this season of your life. There is no right or wrong answer, only what is true for you.
- What do you truly desire for this season in your life?
- Would you still want your desire or dream if you accomplished it today?
- Would it fit into who you are now and how you want to live in the present?
- How would you feel is you let that “outdated” desire go and focused on something new instead?
# 5: Discover your true heart’s desires by asking: Am I willing to make it happen?
I’ve learned from my own journey and from working with other like-minded women, that when we are willing, we figure out how to make things happen. And it’s ok not to be willing as long as we’re honest about it.
I call this the Willingness Test:
- Think about one of your dreams, desires or goals that you believe you want with all your heart. Write it down.
- Close your eyes and imagine your life having achieved it and then without having achieved it. Write down your feelings and emotions around each scenario. Which one brings you more joy, peace and fulfillment? If your answer is pursuing the dream, desire or goal, then you’re on the right track.
- Make a list of everything you’re willing to do within the framework of your life to take action towards bringing your desires or goals to life. Commit them to yourself, to God and to whomever else you trust to keep you on track.
It is easy to say you want a healthier lifestyle; however, it takes a plan, motivation, support, focus, and follow-through to get what you want.
We can achieve our dreams and desires with persistence, patience and perseverance.
Now that you’ve discovered some of your truest desires, are you willing to take action? The next step is to just start; imperfectly.
Take some time to pause, pray for wisdom and then proceed in the direction you feel called to go.
Remember, you’ll have the greatest success of accomplishing your dreams and goals when they are aligned with your Why, your truth, your values, the lifestyle you want to live and the person you want to be.
If you’re feeling up to it, I’d love to hear from YOU.
What are your true heart’s desires for this season of your life? What is ONE step you can take towards making them happen now?
Please share your experiences in the comments below.
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